I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
