butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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