id be glad to
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
