Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also whatโs the official rule on washing one guyโs jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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