Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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