Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
