I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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