Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
