Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
