I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
