Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
