It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
