Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
