fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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