No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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