new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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