My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
