what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
