And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
