shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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