spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
