I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
