Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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