Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
