I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
