just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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