whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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