just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
