It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
