goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
