My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
