You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have fence marks all over my body
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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