We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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