As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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