hell yes lets make some ravioli
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
