This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
be right there i have to get my cape
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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