He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
