Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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