Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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