did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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