I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
