I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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