Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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