My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
