the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
