you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
