Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
