Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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