i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
try to milk me bitch
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
