She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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