I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
