PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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