It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
