every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
