Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
