You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
