i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
