I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
