ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
