I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
