Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
