One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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