How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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