things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
